“You can’t change others; you can change yourself;

when you change yourself, you change the world.”

This statement, once fully embraced, creates a gateway to continual success. Overcoming negativity as a leader is different from overcoming it in personal life. While many books and quotes advise shedding negative people, this practice can hinder the development of leaders, teams, and organizations. Leaders do not have the luxury of avoiding negativity; instead, they must learn to work with all types of people to build strong teams and create a path to success.

Opportunity for Growth

Growth-minded leaders welcome challenging situations as opportunities for growth. What I have found, both personally and with the executives and managers I coach, “negative” situations are consistently put in our path to foster growth. The truth is you have to learn how to navigate it in a way that is authentic and true for you, or it keeps coming back into your world.

Embracing Diversity of Thought

When you are in a role where you must work with or through others, you rarely get the choice to cut negative people out of your way. Embracing difficulty is not only a chance for personal growth, but also positively influences team culture. It demonstrates your commitment to diversity and your ability to lead through challenges.

How to work with and through Negative People

The first step is to begin tackling negative situations in your environment and transform them through effective listening, questioning, and understanding. Use these 5 steps to frame your approach and guide your path through:

 1. Listen to their feedback

First, set aside time where you can dedicate your full attention to listen to the person without judgement. Listening is so important to leadership, and you will undoubtedly pick up some clues to carry forward from this conversation.

“The most important thing in communication is to hear what isn’t being said.” Peter Drucker

A great practice for this conversation is to listen beyond what is being said. Taking time to understand what is the truth of the situation creates solid results and earns the respect of others. Learn to open up conversation “by starting with the best interpretation of a situation” and consider the following questions:

• What led us to this decision?
• What would make this project, situation, decision, product, etc even better?
• What idea have you had that you have not yet voiced?
• What else could we do to achieve our goal in a better way?
• I sense there is more going on than is being said, could you help me understand?

The practice of honing your listening skills will exponentially accelerate the growth of your leadership skills.

2. Understand their perspective

Another component of effective listening is that your goal of listening is to understand. Listening and understanding to what is important to others is a gift. You don’t have to agree, but as a leader you do have to understand their perspective. This practice is critical to building good working relationships

3. Repeat back what you heard

Watch my 2-minute quick tip on how to understand others by repeating back what you heard:

4. Thank them for their perspective

No matter what their feedback or perspective may be, thank them for sharing it with you. This step is crucial to helping them feel heard and understood, and prepares them for the outcome and moving forward with what you decide to do. It also sets the tone that you appreciate diversity of thought in your work environment, and welcomes future challenges to your status quo that are critical to continued growth.

5. Move forward

There is no rule that says you have to incorporate their idea, take their advice, etc. The rule is to treat each human being with dignity, whether they treat you that way or not. The better you get at demonstrating respect, the easier it is to navigate and grow from negative people.

I highly recommend Marshall Rosenberg’s book Non-Violent Communication and Crucial Conversations by Kerry Patterson and colleagues. These resources provide deeper insights into effective communication and handling difficult conversations.